Author: Manny Kagan

 

 

 

 

For 20 years, I’ve been going to Dr. Angela Wu’s clinic for acupuncture, cupping and other treatments. The first time I went to her 20 years ago, she was able to help me with my asthma symptoms, by strengthening my immune system. Now, I see her quarterly for preventative measures. She keeps me from getting sick, and saves me a lot of money. I leave her clinic with a dose of herbs, which I take three times a day, and follow her recommendations religiously. On my most recent visit this week, I also received instructions on how to start the first day (Friday) of the Chinese New Year. 

According to the Chinese Zodiac, it is going to be the “Year of the Horse”. Like the Jewish calendar, the Chinese months are reckoned by the lunar calendar. According to a legend, Buddha asked all the animals to meet him on the Chinese New Year. Twelve came and Buddha named a year after each one. It is believed that those who are born on the year represented by a specific animal adapt its characteristics. Thus, those born on the year of the horse are thought to be cheerful, have money, are perceptive, witty, talented, and good with their hands.

Many famous people were born in the Year of The Horse. I was born in the year of the Pig and was very curious to find out the description of my personality. According to this site, those born in the year of the pig, are honest, straightforward, and patient people. The other qualities are close to the way I perceive myself. Have fun! Google your profile.

 

 

This year, the “Martin Luther King, Jr. Day” national holiday coincides with my reading this week’s chapter in the Torah called Mishpatim, which translates to “ordinances”. (The Torah is divided into 52 chapters, which I read one of each week.) Last week, Torah readers were introduced to the Ten Commandments in the previous chapter. And this week, their meaning is explored.

“And these are the ordinances that you shall place before them: If you buy a Jewish bondsman, he shall work for six years; and in the seventh he shall go free, for no charge” (Exodus 27:1-2).

The word “bondsman” in this case, can mean slave. One of the definitions of the word “bond” in Webster’s Dictionary is anything that binds, fastens, or restrains. It is remarkable that the explanation of the core of our life conduct, the Ten Commandments, starts with the indication that any restraint has to be limited. Like the creation of the world, which by the Bible’s definition was done in six days, and on the seventh day there was rest. We live in a similar cycle.

We must remember the great teacher and preacher, Martin Luther King, Jr., who advocated freedom from oppression, our beliefs, our habitual behavior, the notion that “I know better” and there is “no other way”.

Slavery in America started in 1619 and was formally outlawed in December 1865, but the slave mentality continued for many more years from both former slaves and their masters.

 

 

My friend, Alex Vinokurov, passed away on January 6^th. He was only 10 years junior to me, but he called me “Papa”.

At least once a month, he would call and ask, “Do you have time?”

He expected the same answer I always gave him, “For you, I always have time.”

He would come to our office and ask my wife, “Where is Papa?”

We would go to the local Starbucks and for an hour, he would share his joys, pour out his prayers, and ask me for advice.

He was a big, burly man with a gentle soul. During his short-lived disease, he “finally” managed to lose weight. But before dying, he started to sweat, water left his body, and by the time he passed on, his body shrunk.

“Shurick”, as I lovingly called him, was not with us anymore. Or was he?

Physically, he was not (at least not in this world). In my memory, he is alive. We are the sum of our memories. We choose what to remember and what to forget.

During our life journey, we meet a lot of strangers and we get close with some of them. I am privileged to work with and mentor younger people. After a while, some move away. There are those who follow my guidance, but most have to create their own life experience. Some, while physically still alive, disappear from our sight and I might never again hear from them. What is left is the memory.

January 13^th will mark my second Bar Mitzvah, since I am turning 67 (6+7 = 13) years young. I remember the celebration of my first one. In Jewish tradition, when a boy turns 13, he is responsible for his own actions and can participate in the prayer with adults. Looking back on my life, I realized that from that date 54 years ago until today–I lived without knowing what the next day will bring, despite my preparations and going through a seemingly predictable life journey.

This thought came to mind after my very dear friend, Alex Vinokurov passed on. His cancer was diagnosed in November. After a “successful” surgery, he was ready to recover, but it never happened. We visited him on Sunday. He was weak, but holding on. Before saying good-bye, he opened his eyes, squeezed my hand, and said, “I love you”. I kissed him, and we left. Monday, before 9pm, he was gone, He was 56 years young.

Recently, we’ve heard about other people we know who are not around anymore. Some of our very close friends are also dealing with the frightening “C” word.

 

I am sad—and when I think about Alex, my eyes become watery.

But I made a very clear decision for myself. There is no need to wait for one special day a year to celebrate; every day is special and there are always reasons to celebrate life with the friends and family members.

Hope you will join me.