The Lesson I Learned In Los Angeles

We started spending more time in Los Angeles twelve years ago after our daughter Tamar moved there from New York. We usually drive there, which takes us about six hours. The last two visits we flew in, and our daughter chauffeured us around, which is nice, since in spite of going there so many times, I still do not know my way around. Tamar lives in the West Hollywood area, specifically in the square between La Brea, Melrose, Fairfax and Santa Monica Blvd. I like to go for my hour-long walks around the neighborhood in the morning. In the area, there are single-family homes with some three-story apartment buildings and condominiums like the one where Tamar lives. The area is changing. Developers have been buying small houses on big lofts, to be demolished and replaced by huge square boxes (which I don’t particularly find attractive), and are sold for millions. On the surrounding streets, there are new condo projects that have replaced vacant lots. Slowly the old charm is diminishing. Over our weekend visit we did not do as much as we normally do, like see a show or visit museums. We did go meet with one of Tamar’s clients (Tamar is a real estate agent) and the rest of the time we spent shopping, eating, resting and of course photographing. I brought photo prints of my next book “42 Encounters with Couples in San Francisco” with me, and we went through a selection process, witling down the images for the book. I also printed some black and white images for my future book.

While showing the prints to my family, Elfa, instead of just saying whether she liked an image or not, tried to make a comment. I interpreted her comment as her telling me how I should photograph, and even before she could finish her sentence, I got angry and I snapped at her. She got upset and the showing was over. A minute later I cooled down, but it was too late. In our 49 years of marriage we have rarely fought with each other, but I can be forceful in defending my position (though not necessarily right). Elfa usually patiently waits for my rambling to end, and then most of the time I find her suggestion to be right anyway, which I then acknowledge. But this small incident lead me to think about my previous week’s writing. In that story, I wrote that pets as children need to be trained/educated, if we want them to behave a certain way. And in the most cases, the education starts with the animals’ owners. As a part of this training, instead of telling those in our charge what they should do, just evaluate whether the result of their action is satisfactory, and then encourage the positive or discourage the negative actions.

What do you think about this suggestion? Please let me know. Enjoy and Share.

P.S. Through the years, I’ve had many interesting encounters in Los Angeles. Perhaps, sometime in the future, I will make a photography book titled “42 Encounters in Los Angeles.” Meanwhile, please enjoy the four images from this recent trip.

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Cheers,