How Many Mom’s Do You Have?

“Since we traditionally give flowers on Mother’s Day to show our appreciation and love to our mother, how do we say “Thank you” and “I love you” to our Mother Earth, who gives those flowers to us?

Kagan
Family

My beautiful wife and daughters a few years ago.

How many children do you have?” is a rhetorical question. My wife Elfa and I have two daughters. For Mother’s Day, we celebrated with our youngest daughter Tamar in LA. The next day when returned to San Francisco, and our eldest daughter Alona, flew in from Paris. But I also was blessed with two mothers (unfortunately both passed on). Mama Liza, a very loving person who gave birth to me, and with whom I lived with until I got married at age 20. At that time I moved into my wife’s mother’s apartment, who for the next 20 years became my Mama Masha. We traveled together on our life’s journey until her passing in 1987, as I describe in “The Mortgage Game: The 5 C’s and How to Connect Them”. 

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The title of this week’s writing was inspired by a talk given by a Family Law Attorney, Vivian Holley, who specializes in resolutions of friendly divorces and child custody, among other things, and whose name I’ve mentioned before. For a presentation to the bar association, Vivian wrote an article regarding the “40+ types of Parents Making up Today’s Family”. She mentioned that in our modern society, the old perception of what a family is, parenthood, and motherhood has changed. That transformation has an effect on today’s family relationships and on the court resolution of such disputes.

But there are also surprises in how many children one can have. On May 11th, The Wall Street Journal reported that “Mrs. Dumont has 69 kids”–a remarkable woman from whom all of us can learn how to bring up children.

One of our societal phenomenon’s are single women choose for various reasons to be or become single moms. I am honored to be a Godfather to a boy whose mother, a personal friend, divorced her husband who did not want to have children, and gave birth to a beautiful son, who is about to go to college.

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In the mortgage business, the problem arises when a single parent does not have enough income to qualify for a new loan. Another friend of mine, a single mom, who owns a two-unit building, and who incidentally, invited me to her son’s bris, the Jewish tradition of circumcising a boy on his 8th day of life. She lives in one unit and rents the other. The rent almost covers her mortgage payments and property taxes. Nevertheless, she is not qualified to get a new mortgage, which could reduce her payments about $200/month.

In my work, I have helped quite a few people who are going through a divorce, which diminishes two qualifying incomes to one. There are many challenges that require creative solutions. With one client, a woman whose divorce procedure was going to be complete in six months, I suggested that she use her own money now to buy a condo with cash. In a few months after the divorce, when we could establish and show proof of the alimony, I would get her a cash out mortgage.

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In another instance, a man wanted to keep the house but had to give his ex-wife money as part of the settlement. We refinanced his home and got a separate line of credit, which had to close after the first loan is in place, to satisfy her demands.

Yet in another one, a divorced woman, who wanted to keep her house until her children were grown, but was not qualified on her own. We found a solution by having a friend offer to co-sign for her mortgage. The problem was that he had not filed his taxes since 2009. We have to wait until he brought his affairs into order.

Co-signing, which I describe in detail in my forth-coming book “Mortgage Solutions for Smart People: 5 Easy Ways to Get Your Loan Approved,” can help in certain situations, but not always.

Since Mother Earth is so generous with us by giving us so many flowers, why limit Mother’s Day to one day a year?


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P.S.

As you can see from my images from Cuba, there is nothing more powerful in the world as the love of a mother.

P.P.S

I will start teaching a course “How to Play The Mortgage Game and Win” on Sunday, June 2nd. If you know someone who wants to get into the exciting mortgage world, please let me know.

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Best Wishes,

Manny
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